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Like the summer of ‘76

The effects of the coronavirus on children’s well-being needs careful attention and considered behaviours from all of us. We need to support children with safety and trust. As adults, workers or parents we should offer good simple information, by being honest, being available and present, and answering their questions.

I remember watching the news as a child. I was aware of it, thanks to John Craven and the BBC children’s news programme Newsround, I had a reasonable grasp of current affairs. The image of Phan Thi Kim Phuc, known as the napalm girl, was well-known to me. A stark illustration of the horrors of the Vietnam war. But that was happening thousands of miles away to people that seemed very different to the world around me. My world was comparatively safe and happy. Whatever the worst life brought, we as a family were not at war, nor in pain.

The summer of 1976 still enjoys legendary status. It was a very hot and very long summer. There were water shortages caused by the drought, stand pipes were in the street. We had to leave a country park because of a grass fire. On our family holiday in Cornwall we got badly sunburnt shoulders. My brother’s toy machine gun, left in the car whilst we were at the beach, melted in the heat. We returned to the car and had to wait quite a while, in our short trousers, for the vinyl car seats to cool down before we could get in. Suddenly it felt like dangerous things could happen. And they did.

As a psychotherapist I am hugely aware of how early experiences, trauma and key events shape a person and manifest in phobias, mental health and choices on adulthood. What may seem at first like a fun extended school holiday for children off school or pre-school, the current situation can instead be an unsettling period. Routines have been disrupted. Whole families are staying in at home. Parents could be working at home. Money could be tight. Childcare arrangements have changed. Extended family members are unreachable. Normal hobbies and activities are out of bounds. People are wearing masks in the street. The supermarket shelves are closed, other shops and restaurants are closed. There is an increased emphasis on hand-washing. Life is very different. And we don’t know how long for. The effects on a child’s emotional and mental health could be long felt.

The news media is very different too. My access to the news was limited to a 15 minute bulletin Monday to Friday, if I remembered. Miss it and there was no play back, no iPlayer, no video recording, no internet. I worry about the huge amount of news information supplied to children on a loop by the TV, mis-information on social media, and on the web. What is also concerning is how children are accessing the information directly on their devices, and sharing it between each other in every way.

All of us, adults, workers and parents need to continue to take time to help children make healthy sense of what is happening. There’s no blueprint for these conditions. We haven’t experienced them in recent modern life. There are some important principles to follow:

  • Children’s thoughts and feelings need to be acknowledged. Take time to show you can see or hear how children are feeling.
  • It is okay to discuss emotions, fears and questions. And we should be committed to providing answers. Gone are the days when such things were feared or brushed under the carpet.
  • It is really important to focus on controlling what can be controlled, this is a great way to reduce anxiety or that out of control feeling.
  • As adults, we also need to manage how we deal with our responses, our fears around money, food, health and friends and family. We need to be aware of how children may be absorbing these as they observe our every move and monitor every word or at least the tone of what we are saying or doing.

I commend Norway’s prime minister Erna Solberg for holding a press conference specifically for children last week. For half an hour she and her team answered questions submitted by children. She told them it was normal to be scared and that everything would be okay. This is not only amazing leadership and confidence, it is a preventative action. It is early intervention in practice, supporting children with their emotional wellbeing. It is something the UK government should do. Because we will experience the significant ripple effects of this pandemic for months and years to come. My eight year old self knows that to be true.

This blog was published by http://www.cypnow.co.uk 27/03/20

Working 5 to 9

“Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition, and yawn and stretch and try to come to life”.  Said a very wise woman, Dolly Parton.  She also observed, in the same iconic work in 1980 “what a way to make a livin’, barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin’”.  That was Dolly’s commentary on the 9 to 5 life.  Bound to office hours and faced with the challenges and tribulations of workplace politics and the pressures of a demanding boss whose modus operandum was born of the dark ages of sexism, misbehaviour and dysfunction.

Cut to 2020 and workplace misbehaviour remains a hot topic in new and different ways.  Stories, allegations and court cases around sexual misconduct in the TV and movie industries have generated the #metoo movement and a lively public debate.  We are concerned with what acceptable behaviour was in the past and what suitable behaviour is now and for future generations.

This month I have been particularly fascinated by incidents on the Six Nations rugby field and a high-profile political storm.  Both professional arenas and highly paid roles.  And how disappointing they appear to think themselves above the law or culturally different to such a degree unique rules apply.  Such examples test our values and the law at every turn.  At the core of the problem though is professional or rather unprofessional behaviours.

I saw a professional rugby player punching a rival deliberately in the face, and another squeezing an opposing player’s genitals as part of tactical play.  Shocking stuff.  What’s more it promoted media commentators to decry or applaud them.  Clearly some parts of the media have learned nothing from the #metoo campaign.

Assault is assault and sexual assault is sexual assault – wherever and whenever it happens. Bad behaviour is just that and must never be justified by defences based upon what used to happen, culture, custom or practice. It surely cannot be acceptable for us and our children to witness on broadcast television.  And how can it be acceptable from professional people in their place of work, whether it be a field of play or an open plan office.  Or indeed a political or a civil service office. There have been accusations about bullying, demanding and unreasonable leadership at the top of government.  And the defence from their colleagues has rested on how impressed we should be if someone works day and night on their job, beyond 9 to 5, adding an extra 5 to 9 shift.  This does not impress me, all it does is worry me greatly and I wonder what on earth is happening at home or in their lives then, now and next.  And I really do not subscribe to the idea of somehow finding fault in anyone around who doesn’t match up to such unreasonable and unbalanced choices and behaviours.

We expect a great deal from our leaders political and sporting, and two of those things are role modelling and safety.  We hope that leaders will show us the way to work professionally and respectfully in ways that support wellbeing, balance and health and safety. The consequences are real if this does not happen.  We all must learn from past experiences and commit to breaking bad behaviour patterns and valuing professionalism at all time and in all places.

There’s no place for average results when aiming for social mobility

9A0D6DC9-6A97-46CA-B675-7066FDC341E3To really give least advantaged children a chance we must help them to be better than average.

It is not enough to think that being the same as other children will give them an equal chance. We must better equip them to navigate the minefield of disadvantage and inequality. We cannot and must not be happy with average – that’s just mean (pun intended). What’s more, it just won’t work. Little difference will be made, and it runs the risk of building up our children now only to ‘fail’ later.

What has prompted this blog? I have been having conversations recently with peers and funders about what good performance looks like in social mobility and raising children’s outcomes. I started to hear a voice that seemed satisfied that outcomes were achieved if results were on national average – a feeling ‘the job was done’. I stated to identify a desire to move on to the next ‘problem’. My blood starting pumping at the thought of it. Here’s why.

A lot is said about people’s aims and good intentions around social mobility these days. It is great that 40 years after a wonderful raft of equalities legislation, concrete actions continue to be taken with such good intentions. But many are missing the point if we don’t all properly acknowledge the multiple factors that prevent social mobility and facilitate inequality. We all need to understand how these really reinforce disadvantage and inequality. Being average simply doesn’t cut it when it comes to competing against more advantaged peers. The next generation of disadvantaged children and young people instead need to be brilliant to be anywhere near to standing an equal chance.

The Social Mobility Commission report State of the Nation 2018/19 offers a useful list of factors, which I have summarised here:

  • those from better-off backgrounds are almost 80 per cent more likely to be in a professional job
  • there is a class pay gap of 24% and if working class people enter professional roles their pay can still be 17% less
  • there is reduced ability to move regions for employment (and I would add learning opportunities)
  • disadvantage resulting from class, disability, ethnicity and gender identity, is multiplied when children experience more than one such factor
  • low income, living standards and wellbeing further limit risk, choices and options.

This is a stark picture of the realities and presents the bones of a compelling argument for multiple and long-term interventions for all these factors. To experience disadvantage is one thing, but one must also understand and recognise its effects. When I deliver equalities training, learners can often assert they haven’t experienced discrimination, before their awareness is raised and they come to realise how it has been internalised and carried with them through their life journeys so far. All in a morning!

I know this myself. Even now, I can enter important meetings or social occasions whilst carrying the effects of my own lived disadvantage and discrimination. On my back, in my head and swirling through my emotional blueprint are the characteristics of my class, age, sexuality, education, birthplace and more. They all do a great job of sometimes motivating me to aim for brilliance, but on occasion I might try too hard. On other occasions they move me to shrink into the shadows – so not to expose myself to the judgement of others. Whether that judgement is there, whether it is unstated, unconscious or implied, or if it is directly expressed.

All those children and young people we invest in, under the umbrella of social mobility, deserve more ambition from policymakers, funders and services. I don’t want them to feel the same way as I can. They need wellbeing foundations in an environment openly and assertively committed to equality. An opportunity framework that supports learning and careers now and throughout their lives. One that achieves equal chances, respect, pay and opportunity. One that aims for excellence. Not one that settles for average.

This blog was published by Children and Young People Now magazine 24/02/20

Opening myself up to challenge about sustainable development

Sustainable development has always been a feature of our work at Hempsall’s.  It was something engrained into my professional purpose from my very early days as a development worker.  I cannot remember who it was, but I was given really great advice in those days, about how the best development workers should strive to do themselves out of a job one day.  And it is true.  It doesn’t mean they will be out of a job, because there’s always need for great development work.  The processes are usually the same.  It is just the causes and challenges that change.

As an Alumni Ambassador DeMontfort University (DMU), I was asked last week to talk with a group of students about sustainable careers, or careers in sustainability – with reference to the UN Sustainable Development Goals 2030 https://sustainabledevelopment.un.org/  On first thought it seemed like a stretch, or at least a learning experience for me.  I agreed to be on the Q&A panel and then I realised I had agreed to presentation as well.  When thinking about it I very soon came to realise all the things I do in my businesses that fall under the definition of sustainable development.  There are lessons worth sharing.

Hempsall’s work is focused on tackling disadvantage, supporting children’s learning and opportunities, growing families’ economic choices, and enabling equality and social mobility.  Harriman & Co around supply chains and use of home products.

For Hempsall’s work, governments and local authorities expect measurable impact, sustainable delivery and long-term legacies in such programmes, as well as considered purchasing, resources and processes. It’s our mission to support everyone to make a success out of the challenges of early years and childcare policy.  A tall order sometimes, and by no means a job completed.  Sustainability is built in from the outset, core to all actions and programmes are rightly held to account through contract measures.

We are committed to the best short- and long-term impact on children and families, and those delivering early years and childcare services.   We strive to achieve the best quality practice and outcomes for children, delivered by a professional, resourced and sustainable sector and workforce. Our website states:

In terms of our impact, we constantly monitor and review our use of resources. This includes our time, travel, and physical resources. We aim to make conscious, economical and environmentally focused choices for the benefit of our clients, service users and beneficiaries, and the local and global community. We use resources from sustainable and renewable sources and recycle whatever we can.

For www.harrimanandco.com a design and homeware store, there are many sustainability considerations such as: materials used, production processes, supply and delivery chain, terms and conditions of those working on production, and the impact on the environment when products are used or when they end their useful lifetime.

The supply chain must be as ethical as possible and we need assurances of those working on production enjoy appropriate terms and conditions.  The supply chain can be easy when it is part of our family, our own production, or a business around the corner from the store.  It gets more difficult when the product is sourced from the other side of the world.  Although if we get the opportunity, we do go and see for ourselves.  Important considerations for us here are: local, UK and international; family-businesses; independents; cooperatives; artisans; and Fairtrade.  For all, the choice of materials is critical, and we prioritise natural, re-used, re-cycling, long-term use, environmental impact, and safe disposal.  We are interested in these things, and many of our customers are too.  We get asked questions and if we aren’t asked we take opportunities to bring these matters to the forefront by starting conversations and by giving customers information about the products’ provenance to support informed purchasing choices.

Our social, economic and environmental priorities are established.  But it is a constant challenge.  Indeed a hugely beneficial aspect of my presentation was the Q&A afterwards and exposing our professional and personal behaviours to the keen scrutiny of those students attending.  I left knowing that the job is only just begun and we must continue to respond to demand, whether it be from government commissioners and contractors or customers walking through the shop door.  The future will demand we all commit further to sustainable development goals, communicate clearly the actions we are taking to meet them, and continue to innovate and challenge ourselves and those that use our services or products.  Thank you to DMU for the opportunity to reflect, share and be challenged.

 

British Values ask us to promote many things, one of them is democracy.  But how democratic is your leadership at work?  

EB8083D1-13DA-4673-BE93-9570D11508B4Democratic leadership (DL) is also known as participative or shared leadership.  This leadership style is nothing new.  Indeed, US Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were said to be advocates of this approach.  Nowadays, it is something promoted by many of the main large fashionable and creative industries (naming no names) and characterised by members of a team taking a more participative role in the decision-making process.

In practical terms it sometimes extends to holding a ballot or vote, mostly informing the leader’s ultimate decision.  It is not an approach exclusive to politics or multi-nationals though, it is wholly applicable in any business.  And I know from experience it exists already in very many.  I wonder how remarkable it could be for more and more children, young people and team members to witness and learn from this type of democracy in action, first-hand.  What a great learning experience for everyone’s self-regulation, social and relationship skills, study and employability skills.

In DL, team members participate, share ideas, and discuss issues to inform decision-making, under the support of the team leader.  It is often the operating style teams reach when they are at fully functioning or ‘performing’ stage (Tuckman 1965).  But is does need conscious effort from all to make it as effective as possible.

Take this simple self-assessment test yourself, and ask your team what they think:

  • Are all team members supported to share ideas, thoughts and opinions?
  • Is there a sense of creativity in the leader and team, and is it welcomed and valued?
  • Do team members feel involved and engaged with the decision-making process?
  • How honest, fair and democratic is the leader considered to be?

Be warned though, one misconception of this approach, is the leader doesn’t make decisions.  They do.  After a well-facilitated discussion or consultation, the team could choose to take a vote.  A majority vote could be enough, or the leader could have a casting vote if needed (think the Strictly Come Dancing panel, where the head judge has the decision in the event of a tie).  Or the leader could acknowledge the majority view, but still side with the minority – justifying and explaining their position clearly to all.

A leader who may be struggling and unconfident, finding it difficult to make decisions, may use this approach too much and destabilise the team in the process.  This can be very unsettling and confusing for the team members and could weaken trust and respect.  It is not a technique to use when teams are newly formed either, as teams will be looking for strong directional leadership until the team develops further.  Nor is it for when there is tension and disagreement between small sub-groups, as the open sharing of views and ideas will either become stifled, or it will fuel disagreements and division.

Save it for when the group feels skilled and willing to participate.  DL benefits are many and can include: happier individuals and team members, improved idea or solution generation, the sharing of morals and values – which strengthens connections and relationships, and higher functionality and quality results.

This blog is based on an article by me first published in Teach Early Years.