The ‘midlife crisis’ is dead.  The ‘end of midlife crisis’, well that’s another matter. 

I’ve written much about the difficulties we can experience when imagining our upcoming midlife, and the realities of when we are experiencing it.  I am not alone, so-called midlife crises are a familiar talking point, and a frequent object of ridicule. 

In the book, I have set out how best to navigate its approach and the precious time spent in midlife.  I’ve also said I reject the term crisis.  The truth is that these days, for most of us, this stage of life is much more vibrant, exciting, and joyful that it was for the generations of parents and grandparents who came before us.  It really can be a golden time.  A moment to grasp with both hands, and one to relish by making the most of it.  Helped, of course, by being ready and prepared for it, and by being equipped to make the most of it.  Being unwilling, unprepared and unable to enjoy your middle age is the imperfect recipe for a crisis.  Today though, I want to discuss something new I have noticed.

I have seen it happen around me, as friends and family have enjoyed their midlife, then find themselves towards the end of their midlife stage.  They have been busy enjoying the afternoon of life, filled with friends and family, travel, career and hobby swerves, and active retirements.  Good for them.  Then, along comes the gradual or sudden realisation that time is much more finite, and the body much more fragile to accommodate such pursuits.  This can be unsettling and upsetting.

I guess one of two things could be happening here.  Could it simply be a delay of the traditional midlife crisis?  Or is it a new phenomenon: the emergence of the ‘end of midlife crisis’?  Whatever it is, the emotional triggers and responses may be the same, or could they be different, I wonder?  One difference that occurs to me is that in midlife we are potentially more able to do something about our lives if they need a turnaround, adjustment, or a refresh – especially in modern times.  At the end of midlife however, which I have discussed being around 70-75, then the options are arguably fewer in terms of time and health.  Old age and the spectre of approaching death are much more real.  As US actor, Doris Day said: The really frightening thing about the middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.  She hit the nail right on the head there, and that is absolutely confronting.