Another general election has passed. Another long night has been spent on the sofa watching results unfold. It was a festival of shock, anger, denial, deal-making, depression, and acceptance. By dawn, we knew what the future had in store. There were winners, there were losers, there were surprises, and there were lessons learned. The victors have already started to busy themselves with the demands of government; the losers continue to lick their wounds and regretfully ponder ‘what went wrong’.
The words in concession speeches, snatched media interviews, and social media posts weaved a well-known tapestry of woeful remorse. “We lost the public’s trust”, “We didn’t listen”, “We made mistakes”, “We must regain trust”. Yup! Costly mistakes, and lessons learned all too late. As long as these lessons have been learned, and were not rehearsed meaningless platitudes to fill awkward silences.
The lesson here is that, for anyone to gain trust, whether they be a politician, leader, manager, partner, or friend, they must give it first. Here’s how it works:
- Vulnerability: Share your own vulnerabilities, challenges, and experiences. Be open and honest about the realities of the situation and/or experience. When you open up, others feel more comfortable doing the same. This leads to more meaningful exchanges and the coproduction of solutions that have half a chance of gaining everyone’s commitment – and ultimately the results everyone needs and wants.
- Active Listening: Show genuine interest in others. Listen actively, ask questions, and empathise. Don’t just tell people you are listening; show them you are listening, and that what is being said will be valued and will inform decisions and actions. People trust those who truly hear them.
- Reliability: Be consistent and reliable. Keep the promises you make, don’t make promises you cannot keep, meet deadlines – or discuss the reasons and agree when deadlines must change, and follow through on those shared commitments made.
- Generosity: Give without expecting anything in return. This is an intrinsic characteristic of care, of service, of public service, and of integrity. Offer help, share knowledge, resources, skills, learning, and perspectives, and support others to grow and develop.
- Honesty: Be transparent and truthful at all times. Admit mistakes and apologise instinctively and quickly when necessary. When apologies are shared to conclude a long series of denials and legalese they rarely land well. Be honest, and you will get honesty in return – so don’t be afraid of it. If you find it difficult to have the honest conversations, get help – it is an essential skill.
- Delegation: Knowing how and when to let go is key. This enables those who know best to advise, guide, and be a partner to deliver on shared objectives. Allow them the freedom to fly, to innovate, to focus upon outcomes and impacts. Don’t stymie them in a quicksand of micro-managed inputs and outputs.
Trust is built over time through consistent actions. By giving trust first, a positive cycle of reciprocity can begin. One that can last a term of political office, a career, or a whole lifetime. New members of parliament should take heed.
This blog was first published by Children and Young People Now magazine https://www.cypnow.co.uk/blogs/article/politicians-gain-trust-by-giving-it-first on 09/07/24
Find Joy in the Middle 